Everyone knows its the Dark Arts he fancies ...

This is what happens when your English teacher is a Potterhead!

Question: Write a letter of application for a post of a teacher in a prestigious school. 

Potions Room

Dungeons

Hogwarts

15^th August 1993

The Headmaster

The Office

Hogwarts

Subject: Application for post of Defense Against Dark Arts

Professor

This is another annual letter of me requesting you to let me teach Defense Against the Dark Arts in Hogwarts. I know you’re seeking a teacher for that position, as the previous DADA Professor, Lockhart, just lost his memories. I’m also aware that you’re eyeing the werewolf Lupin, whose presence in Hogwarts can prove to be very risky for the students. Given the recent escape of Lupin’s Best friend and mass murderer, Sirius Black, who is targeting one of our students, I feel its absolutely wrong to hire the werewolf friend of his. Also, after an year of absolutely no proper DADA education, thanks to the very ‘less’ talented Lockhart, I strongly feel students would like to have a teacher who understands the subject he’s teaching.

As you’re well aware, I got an ‘O’ grade in my 1975 OWLS & 1977 NEWTs in all my subjects including Defense Against Dark Arts from Hogwarts itself. So, I very well qualify for teaching that subject. As for experience, I’ve been teaching Potions in Hogwarts under your administration for several years too.

I’m an excellent teacher, as you can ask from my Slytherin students. I’ve also been very loyal to you, and have risked my life playing a double agent several times, as per your orders. This is the least you can do for me, by giving me the position of DADA teacher. Else, I’ll continue being the Potions master in the dungeons. But, again, I remind you, giving a job to a werewolf in a school is extremely risky.

Yours faithfully

Severus Snape

Head of Slytherin House